Ready to go!
The weather was terrible that day - there were even some tornadoes in the area, so we went home and I didn't send anyone out to get my percocet script filled. I thought I would be fine with the vicodin I had leftover at home. The first night home was definitely an experience. We were both so sleep deprived at that point but at first I was totally afraid to go to sleep. We got a little more confident after each feeding and finally did get a little sleep. My dad called around 11am and I remember being so mad that he called and woke us up. Physically, I was feeling really bad at this point and I had taken quite a bit of vicodin and motrin, but it didn't seem to be doing anything. Usually after a c-section, your second day is supposed to be your "worst day", and I remember thinking that I must be an exception because my bad day was day 4.
I sent Mark out to get my script filled that afternoon and I felt a little better after taking it, but I still felt generally awful. I took my temp a few times and it was always close to 100, but I attributed it to my milk finally coming in. I managed to muster up the energy to dress Lily up in honor of the first Rays game of the season.
The next day I sent Mark out to buy a cosleeper for our room - we had been using the minicrib that was originally intended to be her bed in our room, but at the time it was too big and too hard for me to get her out of it. While Mark was gone I started feeling worse, to the point where I was even afraid to get off the sofa without someone else in the house. I took more percocet and a motrin around 10pm, then at midnight I took my temperature again and it was almost 101 - waaay too high so soon after the antipyretics.
Of course, I started crying because I basically knew what it meant for me, and for the past 2 days while I had been feeling so crappy and I had been attributing it to the surgery, it was actually an infection. I absolutely did not want to go to the ER. It is filthy, they treat you like shit, and I could not bear even the thought of leaving Lily. I caused some drama by going to OB triage instead of the ER, and I felt bad about it, but I just could not bring myself to go to the emergency room. I got readmitted to my own unit basically by my own insistence. I was the definition of a hot mess. I was put on IV antibiotics and my doctors decided that I had endometritis - an infection in my uterus. So, I spent a few more days in the hospital.
Confused as to why we are back at this place!
Keeping mommy entertained.
I was so happy to have Mark and Lily with me, but I was incredibly hormonal and was so upset that I had to be back in the hospital at all that I broke down frequently and basically wallowed in self-pity. Nurses are horrible patients. I had so many horrible thoughts go through my head - what if the antibiotics don't work? What if I get sicker and end up in renal failure and die? I what-if'ed myself into a panic state, and it didn't help when I got up to use the bathroom and about half a liter of fluid spilled out of my incision. It actually turned out to not be a very big deal but it was scary and not at all what I needed to happen just then. My doctor came to see me that morning and luckily was able to calm me down quite a bit. I tried as hard as I could to snap out of my funk, but I know a lot of it was due to the postpartum hormone shift and there just wasn't anything I could do about it but wait it out.
The day after that, I was discharged on oral antibiotics. I was so glad to finally be home again. We had a scare a few days after that when I got another fever, the highest one of all. Thankfully, it actually turned out to be a reaction to antibiotics. I slowly kept getting better, but it took a while for my emotions to level out. I was having difficulty breastfeeding, my milk never really came in, and I basically felt like a horrible mother. Those first two weeks were incredibly trying for me. Due to all of my complications, it was just so much harder than I thought it was going to be. Taking care of your own baby when you're sick is so much different than taking care of other people's babies when you're healthy. Happily, the hard part is over and we are all back to normal and having lots of fun.
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